hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize