Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
