I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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