Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
