I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
