You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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