im drinking this country out of the recession.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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