My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
