It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
