you traded sex for a burrito?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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