Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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