I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Randomize
