So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
