I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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