I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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