The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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