if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
