At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
