I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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