Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Everything about him screamed your future.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
