I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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