How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Even my vagina gasped.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
