i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
