is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
