Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
