Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
