I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I woke up under a house in Key West
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