Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
