She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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