maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
