I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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