Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
