Non-Jews are for practice
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
