it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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