She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
