umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
