i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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