on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
