Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
