Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
