there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize