You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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