And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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