No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
