where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
