please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
