are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
