Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I just forgot I was standing up.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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