okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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