oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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