Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize