Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I faked an abortion last night.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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