Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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