You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize