I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
