What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
