Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
