Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
