I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
