Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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