Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
