Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
