i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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