I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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