he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
You have to summon your inner elephant
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
