yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize