If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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