Please, let me fuck your mom
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
