Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize
